The Joys of Pre-Summer

Don’t you just love this time of year? The sun is shining, the birds are chirping and singing away, the washing is out on the line swaying in the warm, gentle breeze, and in the distance neighbours can be heard tending to and enjoying their gardens.
You may even have the opportunity to sit out and feel the sun on your face whilst sipping a delicious cold drink, and daydream about the upcoming school holidays. You, like me, will probably envisage all kinds of outings and adventures, picnics and hikes, play parks and ice creams, holidays and day trips, beaches and sunshine, smiling faces and long, laughter filled days. . .aaah, bliss.
As the school term draws to a close, I am filled with optimism for our summer holidays, excited by the endless possibilities, and think that the bare seven weeks just won’t be long enough to jam-pack full of ‘quality time’ family memories to treasure for ever.  Isn’t that what we are meant to do?
You see, the thing is, this few weeks when you can finally see the light at the end of the school term tunnel, you will invariably have to juggle even more crap than normal on your way towards it. The end of the school year, when you, like the jotters, are a tad frayed round the edges, will have a whole circus of year-end specific hoops to jump through; parties, disco’s, assemblies, sports days, presentations, graduations yadda yadda yadda.
You can see the light though, and you know that by the time your get the last day of term, its not just the kids, but every parent, that is READY for the holidays. So, ready.
What sustains you through the dark school term tunnel on that last, most demanding stretch, is the much anticipated summer break; the glimmering prize of a glorious sunshiny summer. Sometimes, that’s even how it works out, Sometimes folks can get through the most part of the summer and do nothing but have idyllic days, make memories, and generally enjoy each others company. However, I think its more common that everybody goes at the summer holidays hoping to have Instagram worthy moments from sun up to sun down, when in reality, even with all the best of intentions, a million list of fun things to do, and near endless patience – nobody can get through seven weeks without a cross word, sulk, huff, stomp, tantrum, meltdown, eye roll, or hissy fit or grump. Nobody.
Kids and adults alike will all have their own moments of aargh from time to time, no matter what is going on. But then over the course of the summer you add in the heat (which we are not used to), the ever-present need for sun screen (which my monkeys hate), and as a result often get a grumpy child and a grumpy adult before you’ve set foot out of the door. Which is another thing, getting out the door; arranging for where to be going and when, then packing for everybody for every eventuality. Not the mention those oh so lovely picnics and packed lunches – if only they made themselves eh.
All I’m saying is, for us, despite the fact I love having the kids home and getting to hang out with them, long before the holidays are over The shine has kinda come off it a bit. There will have been those adorable loving moments like you see on social media, but there will also have been fighting, rowing, tantrums and whining. This is a certainty. It happens.

Not many have the pitcure perfect summer they dream of, but thats ok too; real life is well, real, and life happens, but there is a lot of pressure on summer to perform as a season round here.  Its not ALL swings and roundabouts though.

Which is one of the reasons I’m quite happy in the tunnel for now, with a good view of the beautiful light at the end. Yes, I love this time of year, there’s so much to look forward to and be excited about, and I can enjoy the luxury of daydreaming about the promises of summer, in my peaceful garden,(soon to be infested with small people), in the quiet, (soon to be replaced by screaming, shouting, singing, laughing, crying etc), next to the clean, tidy house, (soon to become unrecognizable due to increased presence of small, noisy people who don’t like for anything to be inside of anything else, ever), while the kids are in school (set to be freed at the end of the tunnel).

Ah yes, the mixed bag that is summertime is out there. i can see it in the distance, and it is full of promise, but I like it here even better, in the joys of pre- summer!

Stop Stopping Start Blogging

Over the last week, I have quietly and contentedly been extremely chuffed with myself for working up the nerve to get blogging. Publishing the first post was a rush of excitement and achievement, and I instantly started planning my next blog post.

This is not that post.

Neither were any of the other twenty six I have since started and then scrapped.
I’ve always talked to myself a lot and am the worlds worst over-thinker, and that is one of the reasons I wanted to blog in the first place (to hopefully quieten the ceaseless chatter of my busy little brain).  However, my inner voice has become the biggest, most foul mouthed critic of everything I type. I’ve found myself deleting a plethora of potential posts, primarily because they were just self indulgent drivel (or so the wee inside voice said).
I’ve worried that my only knowledge of the blogging world and how it works, amounts to – there is one, it’s bigger than I knew, and that I really don’t know how it works at all.  I’ve worried that simply reading a billion other blogs is not sufficient to be able to write my own.  I’ve worried that I don’t have the required netiquette,  that I am completely unqualified to just join in, and that I have nothing original to say (back to the potential for self indulgent drivel again), and, that ultimately, nobody would want to read it. (Neither a new or original notion that one, is it?)
After receiving a little feedback, it is an understatement to say I was ecstatic.  I was floored to have had any interaction at all, and it felt great.  Other bloggers piped up to offer some support and encouragement, and I can’t thank them enough. What a lovely bunch, to just reach out and generate some cheer and good feeling, and it made such a positive difference to me.  I’ve obsessed thought it over a lot, and all of those concerns from the wee voice may be well founded, but, so what?
I got to thinking that, no, I don’t know what I’m doing particularly, but I can learn it as I go. I didn’t know what to do as a mum when I became one, but I learned, just like everybody else, and that’s a slightly bigger deal really.  I am working on taming the wee inner voice, or more accurately, training a louder inner voice to yell and sing over the top of the doubting whisper- to just do it anyway. When all is said and done, this is a blog and in the grand scale of things it’s really so incredibly small it’s hardly there at all, and on the little scale of things, it is just as it should be; my very own space to say what I want or feel or think, a place to share, to laugh, and to record memories and adventures, ups and downs, and I should stop overthinking it, right?  It’s all about perspective really.  Life is too short to be scared to do what you want, (especially if that is blogging, maybe not so much if what you want to do is perform Houdini style escapes from a straight-jacket, blindfolded, suspended by your feet, whilst popping your parachuting cherry, or anything crazy like that!).

And so after an emotional roller-coaster of a week, I am decidedly more committed to giving it as go. I will not promise that there won’t be any self indulgent drivel, because if you have read this far, you will note, that this is exactly that.  Last week, I jumped got in the blogging ‘pool’, and despite the fact I feel like I’m flailing around in a puddle, I’ve gotten my feet wet now, and I think I like it.

Jumping in, slowly

So here I am then, in the blogging ‘pool’, so to speak.  After much swithering, swinging wildly from ferocious determination to overwhelming nervousness, after a long drawn out time on this pendulum of uncertainty – I’ve gone and done it.  I’ve created my blog.

I’m not really one for jumping in headfirst, (being as I’m actually a closet control freak), so I have thought long and hard about doing this for a long time.  So long in fact, that instead of jumping in headfirst, I have lingered around and cautiously poked the water with a stick, then nervously swirled my pinky finger, eventually sticking a toe in, and finally, lowering myself in at glacier pace!  Even after deciding to stop being so afraid and just do it, I have taken weeks to build up the nerve to actually post anything.

I’m a bit of an over-thinker, and although I’ve written and planned out countless blog posts in my mind, and decided that this is the tool I need in order to let those ideas / musings / observations out into the universe, it’s actually a bit daunting to do.

Nevertheless, having already committed months and months of my life to consideration of whether to blog or not, it’s done, decision made, action taken, words typed.  I may have only slinked into the ‘pool’ rather than jumping headfirst, but, I’m in now.  It has begun.